holding

Last week we managed to get my parents, 1 grandmother, and 4/5 siblings plus their significant others to Panama City Beach, Florida where we enjoyed 5ish days of beautiful sunshine [mostly], clear water, delicious food, sandy feet, hard sleep, and sweet time together on vacation. Although we have been to Florida every single summer since I was born [24 years ago], this vacation was like no other to me because this was the first year I went to the beach without my Sis. She and Hunter  [her husband of almost a year :)] are in grad school at ETSU and could not swing the trip. It was a fabulous trip, but in the sweetest and most glorious moments, I found myself sitting still and thinking "I wish Sis was here." They have no idea how much they were missed.

the whole crew

Several things off my "101 in 1001" List could have been accomplished this week, but I was only proactive enough to solidify one thing. #53: Wear a floppy sunhat. And floppy my sunhat was.

This hat, believe it or not, was actually normal-looking when my sweet Mom bought it for me. I wore it for about 15 minutes before I decided to get into the ocean with it. I dunked it, it floated! Great news! And then, it went limp. and dried this way. So, here I am in my too-floppy sunhat, wearing it for a photo nonetheless.

The last few days I have spent in Knoxville. We had a wedding on Sunday, I visited my Sis in JC on Tuesday, and now I'm awaiting Thursday when I'll make the travel to Murfreesboro for a dentist appointment and then on home to Lawrenceburg where I will resume my daily routine of rushing and running and waiting. I am still awaiting a call from MTMC about the job I interviewed for. She said it would be this week, so we shall see. Also, another possible opportunity has somewhat arisen at Vanderbilt Medical Center so if you would pray with me about that it would be awesome. Besides these things, Haiti has been weighing heavy on my heart the last few days. I'm trying to hold it together, but when I'm alone for hours with only time to think and reflect, the following circumstances occur frequently:

Yesterday I was driving to JC [2 hrs from Knox], and all I could think about was Haiti. I smiled thinking about the people there that I spent so much time with. Then I thought of nights sitting up with Lani and Naomi in their bedroom, and out loud I said a Kreyol sentence explaining my life right now: "Mwen pa konnen. Mwen genyen Jezi, m pa bezwen lot bagay." And then as soon as I said it, I burst into tears. I thought of how Lani would smile and nod her head Yes vigorously, and how Naomi would say "Chelsey, ou bon zanmi mwen. Ou konnen Jezi." And then of how I would cry, and Lani would pull me in to her plump chest and wrap her short arms around me and love me until I felt better. And I would have paid any price for a plane ticket right that minute to go back. But I know I cannot... not until God leads me there. So until then, I will pray, for guidance for myself, for wisdom, for protection for my friends and family in Haiti. And I will cherish my life today. Because what other option do we really have, except to be thankful? Join me! :)