Thursday, January 28, 2016

one day at a time

"I just don't want to be gone," he whispered as he squeezed his eyes closed tight in fear.

3:00am is not an unusual time for me to have these conversations at work with men and women who are nearing the end of the ugly battle against the terrible beast of cancer.

This particular conversation was preceded by a life lessons talk about not wasting time, seizing the moment, not living in the past or the future and missing the present. And we hear that so often, don't we?

"Make every moment count."
"Don't wish away today waiting for tomorrow."
"They will only be little once."
"One day you'll miss this.. savor every moment."

We hear it and we read it and we sometimes even give it as advice to others, but what does it mean to actually do it? These are great mantras to live by in theory, but in the mundane of everyday life, what does it look like?

For me, yesterday it looked like getting up early and packing up my baby girl and heading to the church for Wednesday morning Women's Bible Study where I sat around the table with 7 ladies over the age of 50 and dug into the Word of God with no distraction and no agenda except to learn and draw near to the Savior together.

It looked like letting the dishes sit dirty just a few minutes longer while I nursed my sweet babe not because she was still hungry but because she loves to be near me.

It looked like watching the baby fall asleep on the couch while the love of my life lay nose-to-nose with her as she put her hands on his face and I took mental snapshots because I never want to forget those sweet moments.

It looked like a long walk with a real true friend during which we talked all about life, the good the bad and the ugly, and she pushed the baby stroller because she loves my baby girl too and she knows I don't mind a break every now and then.

For me, it looked like patiently turning pages of textbooks and google searching with one hand to complete a mandatory chemo class online for work while rocking a sleepy little girl in my other arm all while standing at my kitchen counter.

It looked like crawling in bed with my husband and talking in the dark about our day, and playing with his hair until I felt his breathing become deep and even, relaxed and asleep.

This is what "not wishing away today" looked like for me, yesterday. What does it look like tomorrow, you ask?

I must say, I do not know.

I have found only one way to do this motherhood-thing, this wife-gig, this christian-woman-life, and that is simply one day at a time.



2 comments:

  1. Beautiful! Loved the tour through your day and life. Sam and Quinn are very lucky!

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  2. Beautiful photo, great post. You have a lovely blog. I always try to live in the moment, as we just never know which moment will be our last.

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