being a light, not a savior.

Well, tonight I had truly planned to blog early, go to bed early, and get some extra sleep. But then, facebook decided that now would be a great time to let me upload pictures [which it hasn't done since I got here] so of course I had to take advantage of that. I uploaded all the ones of kids who's adoptive parents have been waiting on pictures first because they are highest priority, then it let me get a few more in before it quit uploading. So, you should definitely check them out by clicking here.

Manny continues to get stronger and stronger! We are trying to "unspoil" him, if thats possible. So he has spent the last few days doing some serious crying. Not even kidding, he cried 2 hours straight yesterday. It was the craziest thing I'd ever seen. When he made it the whole day while crying and not ever falling asleep or losing his voice, we concluded he is well enough to go home. Below is the most recent picture of him. [I promise he takes a bath every day and we change his clothes, but he only has like 3 outfits that come close to fitting him because he's so small, and I just happened to take pictures on all the days he's wearing this green and white outfit haha]

This week has really been a challenge for me, but the Lord has taught me a lot about my perspective. The situation is looking more and more like Manny will be able to go back to his Mom and Dad. Yesterday we had 5 kids from the Children's Home choose to go back to their parents who wanted them back. Initially, it is frustrating to see kids be put back in conditions that are less than ideal. Especially a kid like Manny who was so sick, he will likely get sick again and may not be able to get the treatment he needs. Tonight I was giving him his warm bath and then lathering him in baby lotion and baby powder, and it occurred to me that when he goes home he may be taking a bath in a bucket of rain water, or simply be placed under a gutter after the rain to rinse off, or be sprayed off on the side of the road at the well pump. He may never get another bath in a bathtub. It made me sad.

But then I was reminded by one of our leaders and mentors here that whether parents can provide as well as we can for their kids or not is not the issue that we are here for. We are here to show the love of Jesus, whether that is for a week, 5 months, or a lifetime. We are here to build families up and teach them how to provide for each other and survive here, not tear them apart because it looks more comfortable for them to us. Maybe Manny will have a little less to eat, and maybe the kids from the children's home will sleep on a less comfortable bed tonight, but they will be with their families. And we all know that there is nothing like knowing that your family has your back and loves you, and would do anything for you. Even if the situation is hard and life is not easy, it is best that they live it with their families if at all possible. This was a hard conclusion to come to, but I am so thankful for a God who gives me "peace that surpasses all understanding" [Phil 4:7] Sometimes I get to thinking that our goal here is to take in children and love them and give them a "good life". But I must remember that I have no way to judge a "good life" from a "bad life" and if these children know Jesus, nothing else matters. We are here to be a light in the darkness, to reflect the Light that is Jesus Christ. To give the people Hope in the One thing we can hope in.. our Lord. We are not here to be a savior to this country, but only to be a Light that reflects Our Savior! And it's as simple as that. Anything else we get to do as servants is simply extra!