the call: answered (sometimes)

As many or most of you know, I am getting on a plane at 6am tomorrow bound for Port Au Prince, Haiti. Seeing as I have never traveled to a third world country, I'm slightly apprehensive but mostly just excited. There are so many people that we hear about on a daily basis struggling with the basic necessities of life. But it seems like the more we hear and see, the more calloused we become to the hardships of those around the world.

It could be that some people hear what is going on and are truly saddened, but when we think of something we can do it seems that any effort would be futile because the battle is so big. So, we choose to do nothing and try to push it out of our minds. I have to say I have been there, and remain there in some aspects of the world. But when I think about it, that is like a slap in the face to our God. It's like saying that He isn't big enough, and how can this be true when Isaiah 66:1 says "This is what the Lord says, "Heaven is my throne, and the earth is my footstool. Where is the house you will build for me? Where will my resting place be?" The earth is what he props his feet on!! There is no way anything here is too big for Him. But thats hard to fathom, I know.

We go day to today (and by we, I mean I) trying to find the "balance" in life. Between friends and lovers, school and fun, work and play, church and life, comfortable and different, rich and poor, God and the world. We are fighting daily battles to be balanced people who function adequately in all areas of our lives. But what if its not about balance? I read recently that we should not focus on balance, but rather on obedience. What if we focused only on being obedient, and not on balancing everything? How much different would ours lives look! I know for me it would be a radical change.

Although I find myself sometimes discouraged by the troubles of the world, I am trying to rearrange my thinking to focus on obedience. In preparing for Haiti, I have been meditating on Isaiah 6:8 "Then the Lord said, 'Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?' then I said, 'Here I am Lord! Send me!'" What a beautiful attitude toward the Lord's call. So many times when I know the Lord is seeking someone to send (whether it be across the street to the neighbors, across town to the projects, or across the world to Africa), my response is more like "I'm here, and I will go if you force me I guess, but I'd really rather you choose somebody else!"

Who am I to choose whether I go or stay? As a follower of Christ, "I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me." Gal 2:20. My body, mind, and spirit is nothing but a tool that I have given to Christ to use however He sees fit, so who am I to choose? Really, who are we compared to the Almighty Father?