my sweet Jesus.

I know my blogging has been all but nonexistent as of late, but hey, better late than never, right? Lots of stuff going on over here and things have been super busy, mostly due to the fact that we now have 2 interns living here, English class 3 times a week, back to back teams coming from now to at least May, I'm currently partnering with one of our Haitian staff to look after the Children's Home of 17 kids, the love of my life is 1000 miles away and I spend every second that I have to spare talking with him, and there are presently 11 other people living in this house besides me. All of that makes for a busy life, and when I'm not getting medicine to sick kids or planning English lessons or covering mattresses or taking kids to the dentist or talking through drama that comes from living too close together or fighting the internet to skype with John, my mind and body like to take a vacation to a faraway world called dreamland, and I sleep. :)

I'm thoroughly enjoying the way that the Lord is using me and this ministry, don't get me wrong. But it's enough to wear a girl out. I'm beyond excited that my church in Knoxville, Calvary Baptist, is coming with a big team in just a week and 2 days!! I can't wait to see my friends and church family. I should also let you know that I'll be flying back to the States on March 29th, which is about 3 1/2 weeks earlier than I had originally planned. It wasn't an easy decision but when God changes your plans, it's always best just to go with what He says... He always knows better! So, thats my plan. I don't know yet when I will return to Haiti. I know that the Lord has given me a love for this country and these people that won't just fade away, and they will forever be on my heart and I will find a way to support this ministry from the States, but I don't know exactly when I will physically return. We'll see what God's plan is!

For tonight, I have a few small blessings that are what makes my day and what reminds me how sweet my God is. These are just a few praise moments when I stand in awe of how amazing my Father is.

-->  After English class this week 2 ladies stayed behind to tell me about a ministry they started in the tent camp where they meet and work with women who are victims of rape and abuse. They identified 2 rapists last week and were asking for prayers of protection as people retaliate. I was beyond blessed by their boldness and willingness to sacrifice their own safety for the benefit of someone else. [Please pray with me for them... Madame Martineau and Madame Jacqueline]

--> A Sunday afternoon at the Caribean Lodge eating nachos and salsa and swimming in a semi-clean pool with my family here.

--> Learning how to love other people through their shortcomings, and learning how to own up to mine and let other people love me through it as well.

--> This texting conversation that reminded me of how blessed I am to have the man of God that I have waiting on me at home:
Me: "I want you to do art with me when I come home. What do you think?" [knowing that John is the most anti-artistic person I have ever met, and he would rather stab himself in the eyeball with a needle than paint a picture on a canvas]
John: "I think I hate art but I'll do it with you when you get back." 
And this, ladies, is what you get when you wait on the Lord's timing and you don't try to force things and do things by yourself.

--> Watching a little girl eat chocolate ice cream for the first time after no tears at a doctors checkup! It was priceless.

--> Spending time with the kids and staff at the Children's Home the last couple days... watching the joy on the ladies' faces when I brought them a blender so they can get rid of the mortar and pestle they use on a daily basis, watching Solomon learn to walk like it's nobody's business, getting new shoes for one of the older boys who is relatively new and has been wearing girls tennis shoes since he can remember, and listening to Karis cackle while I tickled her stomach. Even on the worst of days, they remind me why I'm here.

God is good, all the time people. I encourage you to reflect on the last few days of your life. What are some of the little blessings God has given you?

oh and p.s. 15 minutes after I posted this, we had a tiny baby earthquake!! My bed shook for like 10 seconds.. everyone is okay, no damage. Just scared the heck out of the Haitians, with good reason! Praise the Lord it was just a baby one!

the first bite.

Oh, that first bite... you know which one I'm talking about. Many of you may be thinking "oh, that Haitian spaghetti" or "oh, that rice and beans." But you know what I'm talking about... that first bite of me that a Haitian mosquito took of me in this beautiful 2012. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, it has happened. I'm back in Haiti and no less than 48 hours after being back, I've gotten my first bite. And once it began to itch and I started to scratch, I just shook my head and thought to myself "Oh yes, its true... I'm home in Haiti!" [similar to the way that when I get to my house in Lawrenceburg and am peeing with the bathroom door open and someone who is not family walks in, I just shake my head and think to myself "oh yes, it's true... I'm home in Lawrenceburg."]

Anyway.. so, I'm back! I spent 5 fabulous weeks in America, mostly having coffee dates, lunch dates, dinner dates, family game nights, church dinners, and on and on. I met some amazing people who have played such an integral part in allowing me to serve the Lord in Haiti, financially and in prayer. I spent so many nights sitting up with my siblings and my parents laughing and talking for hours and hours. I spent a ton of fabulous time with John, and we learned more about each other and more about our Savior together than at any other time I think. I served some different populations in Knoxville and shared the Gospel through love. And a funny thing happened while I was home... I fell back in love with America. And now, I'm in love with two places, and I feel called to two places, and I can see how to serve others and make Jesus famous in two countries. And it was an awesome discovery!

This new found love for America, however, made it much harder to leave home this time. It made it harder to leave John and my family and my church in Knoxville and my friends, and the people that I fell in love with there who I want to serve and love on. But, it didn't take but a couple of hours back in Haiti for God to reaffirm in my heart that this is what He has for me for this season. He is so faithful to provide exactly what I need, exactly when I need it. I was beyond excited to see Karis, who I missed terribly, along with the other kids at the Children's Home. I got to walk through a tent camp and sit down with a little girl who was immediately drawn to me, and I to her. Also, I was able to visit another orphanage here in Haiti that has over 100 kids in it. There was a little boy there that I fell instantly in love with, and it broke my heart to leave him after only knowing him 30 minutes.

Praising God tonight for His timing and His purpose and His plan, which are so incredibly greater and more perfect than anything I could come up with on my own. Goodnight from Port au Prince!

time for everything

"  There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens..."   Ecclesiastes 3:1

Tomorrow morning at 10:30 AM it will be my time to leave Haiti for now. At 12:30 it will be my time to land in Miami. At 3:05 it will be my time to leave Miami. At 4:25 it will be my time to land in Nashville. And then hopefully around 6:30 it will be my time to walk through my front door for the first time in 4 1/2 months.

On January 24th it will be my time to return to Haiti for a while. It will be my time to leave my family again and leave John again and leave my comfort zone again.

There is a time for EVERYTHING. And because I am a Daughter of the King, my time line is specifically and carefully drawn out by the Father who created the universe. How can I worry or fret or be nervous or be anxious when the God who made the world and uses the Earth as His footstool is the one calling the shots and directing my days?

My last few days here have been bittersweet. I kept thinking to myself "goodbyes are hard." And they are. But this time, it isn't goodbye for me. I can confidently hug the necks of all my Haitian friends and say "I'll see you in January!" I can confidently kiss the kids at the Children's Home on the faces and tell them "M'ap vini an Janvier!" These farewells were by no means easy, but they weren't as hard as indefinite goodbye's. I know that God isn't finished with me in Haiti, so I will be back.

Until then, I am so beyond excited to be home tomorrow. I have learned so much in Haiti this past little bit... and one of the biggest things I've learned is how much of a sacrifice it is for me to apart from my family and friends. It has been harder than I thought possible. I am so thankful for a break in this separation, although it means separation from my family and friends in Haiti for now. Guess I can't have my cake and eat it too, right?

I am constantly being reminded that there is a time for everything, except there is never a time to not be a light. In Haiti, Lawrenceburg, Knoxville, Nashville, Atlanta, and everywhere in between, it is ALWAYS the time for me to be a Light for Christ. I cannot wait to see the plan God has for using me to make His Son FAMOUS while I'm home. Pray with me for boldness and strength and obedience, because all are required to be a witness for the Savior of the World.

Here are a couple photos from my last days in Haiti:

KenKen's 1st Birthday!!! [never thought he'd live to celebrate this!]

Christmas Party for the Children's Home!

See you in America :)

eyes so full of hope.

As it gets closer and closer to time for me to come home for a while, it gets harder and harder to be here in Haiti. I sit or lay for hours in my free time and dream about home..

I want to be cold. I want to sit on the counters in the kitchen with my sisters and talk and laugh for hours. I want to sleep until 11:00 in the morning. I want to lay on the couches in the living room and watch shows my Mom has saved on DVR. I want to watch YouTube videos without having to wait 30 minutes for them to load. I want to worship at Calvary Baptist Church with my family there. I want to plop onto Kiersten's bed and talk about life and love and everything in between. I want to watch Grey's Anatomy and Private Practice with Katie Floyd. I want to see where my brother lives now, and where my sister and her husband live now. I want to get in my car and drive to Walmart and buy something. I want to run to the Redbox and rent a movie. I want to call anybody and everybody and talk for as long as I want without worrying about having to buy more minutes. I want to come in my front door and be all but knocked over by the dogs so happy to see me. I want to be able to sit still without a fan to move air and not have to swat mosquitoes. I want to go out to eat with John, hold his hand, hug his neck, kiss his face.These are all things I want, and it is HARD to not be able to have them.

But you wanna know whats harder? Today we visited our other orphanage, the one that we brought up out of a mudhole in Site Soley. I had never been there before. There are around 70 kids.. all with short hair, dark brown skin, dark brown eyes. They all look alike, and there is a ton of them. I have learned enough Creole to carry on somewhat of a conversation. Today a beautiful little girl with an innocent face and hopeful eyes sat beside me. She asked me my name. "Chelsey." She asked me how old I am. "Twenty-three." And then, with eyes filled with more expectation and hope than I had ever seen, she asked me "Can you adopt me?" I was stunned. What was I supposed to say to this? I mumbled and incoherently tried to explain that I'm only 23, that I'm not even married. She didn't care. "Yes, but can you adopt me?" I had to look into her soft brown eyes so full of hope and tell her I'm sorry.. no, no, I can't adopt you. I want to, but I cannot. This made missing all the things I've ever missed about America seem easy. It made me want to beg God to make missing home the hardest thing I have to do on a daily basis, because it is EASY compared to looking at beautiful children who are desperate for a Mom who loves them individually and unconditionally, wanting so badly to be that Mom for them, and knowing that I cannot.

I don't know what else to say tonight. I am heartbroken for this little girl and the millions of others in Haiti and around the world... millions of children who don't know their birthdays, who have no one to sing them lullabies or rock them to sleep, who have no one to take their temperature and watch them while they sleep when they are sick, who have no one who knows their favorite color or their favorite food. Children who feel forgotten and unloved, children without parents.

Tonight I ask for prayer. Prayer for this little girl, for the other 70 something kids that live with her, for the handful of kids in our Children's Home who don't have families yet, for all the kids around the world waiting to be taken "home" to homes that they have only been able to dream about so far. Prayer for me and for my heart, because it is sad and broken tonight. Prayers for Chadasha and other organizations working in Haiti, trying to show the Love of Jesus to these children and minister to their brokenness.

It is only in our brokenness that we can witness the power of God, the faithfulness of His promises. I am resting in that assurance tonight. Mesi Jezi!