bubble wrap and cardboard

My parents swear that the moment any of us finds out we are pregnant, we should immediately purchase a quality video camera. My siblings and I grew up with the video camera in our faces, recording everything from holiday mornings to birthday parties to school plays to everyday life. Needless to say, some of our best and worst moments are captured on film for us to relive as many times as we want. One particular video clip recently came to mind.

I was 4 years old and earlier in the day had been to my very first "Mother's Day Out" event at a local kids program. It was two hours of fun things like making cupcakes and finger painting and dancing. My daddy had me sitting in the floor reliving the day for him on camera. I threw my crazy blonde curls around and batted my baby blue eyes at him as he soaked up every word I said while I told him about my adventurous day at "Sticky Fingers." At one point in the conversation, he zoomed the camera in to the nametag still stuck to the front of my shirt. "Chelsey," he read, "Whats that on your shirt?" "My name tag!" I said. He pushed further... "Whats that for anyway?" And I responded, "Hmm. I don't know." So my sweet patient Daddy took the opportunity to teach me something new. He explained, "I bet cause there were so many kids there, the teacher couldn't remember all your names. So she put your name tag right where she could see it so that when she saw you finger painting she could read your name tag and say 'Chelsey! You're doing such a great job!'" I looked down at my name tag, then back at him, pensively. "Nuh-huh, thats not right," I responded, very matter-of-factly. My Daddy chuckled to himself and said, "No? What do you think it's for then?" I studied the name tag again and said, "I don't know. But thats not right."

I was a stubborn kid, to say the least. I've outgrown many things in my 26 years of life, and I'd like to think thats one of them. But then, things like this happen.

Sam and I had been discussing getting a couple of new pieces of furniture for our house. So one evening we drove to Target and purchased a beautiful teal entertainment center along with a wire storage shelf for the garage. When we got home, we tore in to both boxes and soon the living room floor was covered with bubble wrap and cardboard and screws. "Lets race," I challenged. I chose the garage shelf (mostly because it didn't require any tools, and also because not many people will ever see it) and Sam started on the TV stand. We chatted and laughed and hurried, and I finished first. However, my shelf had a significant lean to it. It was upright and definitely usable, but it took very little force to make it slouch to one side. "I don't think it's supposed to lean like that," my future hubs observed aloud. "It's fine!" I said, assuredly. "Once we get weight on the bottom shelf it will stabilize." I was sure.

So Sam hauled the shelf to the garage and we began piling the heavy things on the bottom shelf. To my complete surprise, there was still a very apparent lean. I began suggesting we add more things, perhaps it needs more weight. Sam, so gentle and patient, turns to me and says, "Hey babe, where are the instructions?" My mouth gaped. "EXCUSE ME?" I exclaimed. "Are you suggesting I did something wrong?! Because I KNOW how to read you know! It's not that hard!" Again, so patient. He says, "I believe you dear... I just wanna see them." I fling the manual in his direction and half-stomp inside where I plopped purposefully on the couch, arms crossed.

About 3 minutes went by during which I convinced myself that I was about to marry a sexist pig who assumed that just because I am a girl I can't put together a stupid shelf that didn't even require tools! How dare he question my building abilities! And then he appeared in the doorway, doing his absolute best to cover an amused grin. "So, dear... it turns out you did a good job, but you weren't exactly right. The shelves are all on upside down." I glared at him. And he let me. And then he proceeded to the garage where he took the whole thing apart and put it back together the way it was supposed to be. About halfway through the rebuilding process, I swallowed my pride and held the pieces for him as I mumbled under my breath, "Maybe you were right." Low and behold, the lean disappeared.

Alas, the blonde curls may be brown now and the blue eyes have turned green, but I am still the same hard-headed little girl. And I am still blessed to be loved my a most patient man who not only tolerates but embraces my stubborn heart.

romans and grace.

In the New Year we felt ambitious.. like the world was at our fingertips for the first time, like anything was possible and we had all the time we'd like to get where we wanted to go. In the New Year we set goals.. physical, relational, spiritual. Weigh this much, spend more time with these people, read this book, study this scripture. We made lists in moleskins of what we wanted to do, things we vowed to change. We made promises to each other and to ourselves, and to our God. In the New Year, we felt ambitious.

Just over four months later, our moleskins are under magazines or under the front seat of our car, gathering dust somewhere with lists of New Years promises rotting away inside. Time goes so quickly, and life gets so busy, and we have lost our gumption, we say. Clothes pile up and groceries must be bought and rooms need painting and the pool needs cleaning and it turns out a kitchen cabinet makeover takes a lot more time and effort than we thought. We get up early and we go to bed late and still it seems there isn't time in a day to do all we need to do, all we have promised to do, all we want to do. So we settle into routines and day to day life and without our knowing it but with our complete permission promises like reading more and praying more and eating healthier and being more intentional with our thoughts and words are lost somewhere between sleeping and eating and homework and working and painting and life. Four months later, we have broken promises to each other, to ourselves, and to our God.

And then we are challenged, by students or friends or family or mentors, to go back to the basics. To turn off the TV and to put down the dish rags and paint brushes. To get in the Word with hearts that are searching for Him, to know Him better, to desire Him more. And so I dig up the moleskin with the list and I go back. And so what? some say... New Years resolutions are made to be broken. And if they were only resolutions then that may be so, but these were promises, and they were made to be kept. I flip through the notebook, find my list. "Memorize scripture" I read. I have memorized one verse in four months. A promise I made and did not keep.

I go into the office and open a Bible study workbook I started two years ago. It was supposed to last five weeks. And isn't that how the story goes.. starting things with vigor and slowly they slip through our fingers and get pushed aside. Today's lesson, which was actually yesterdays lesson two years ago, landed on Ecclesiastes 5:4-6:

"When you make a vow to God, don't delay fulfilling it, because He does not delight in fools. Fulfill what you vow. Better that you do not vow than that you vow and not fulfill it. Do not let your mouth bring guilt on you, and do not say in the presence of a messenger that it was a mistake."

I snap the book closed abruptly, I can feel Him. He knows me. My heart is overwhelmed with conviction.

It has been just over a year since this started... this crazy thing with this amazing guy who is my soon-to-be husband. And if we could see it all, we would know it has actually been far longer than a year. When my hands are busy in dirty dish water or broom and dust pan, my mind wanders and always lands on him. I look up from the sink to see him smiling at me from across the room. Early in the morning when I come in the door after running ragged at the hospital for 13 hours, he pushes my curls back and tells me I am beautiful.  When I hover over the stove or the sewing machine or clean clothes, I can feel him watching me with eyes that love to pieces.

Sometimes I get quiet and my heart is heavy and somber and full with the weight of the reality of sin and death and how it crumbles and breaks people who seem to deserve more, better. Then he sits quiet with me, and let's me be sad. Sometimes I'm crazy and I back the car into the neighbors fence or I lose things like the Apple TV remote (which has been missing for over two weeks and I'm pretty sure I threw it away). He laughs with me as I chuckle at myself, always. Sometimes I'm sassy and grumpy, and even then he wraps his arms around me from behind and holds me still until I smile. And I always smile.

So I feel convicted about scripture memory, and I'm reading blogs and skimming articles when I come across this post. And it  challenges me with this scripture memory project. And so I open the Word that is the only Word, that is life and strength and food for my soul. I open it to Romans 8 and I begin with verse one.

"There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus."

And I feel His face turn toward me and His grace wash over me.

Grace.

I have made poor choices, and Sam knows. I have chosen wrong, I have  played on the devils playground too many times in my life, long before I even knew him who will be my husband. And he knows this, because he knows me.. All of me. And yet, even at my worst, when I disappoint him with my words or with my actions, when I fail at building him up, when the ugly parts of me show and he realizes I am not all good all the time, even then he turns his face toward me and his eyes show love and his hands are gentle and he pours out favor I do not deserve. 

Grace.

He looks at me as though I could do nothing wrong, even though he knows my flesh. When I finally get to see my Savior face to face, I will feel ashamed of my sin, but I know He will see me only as one made perfect by the blood of the Lamb. I imagine that the way He will look at me, showing only grace, will be so much like the way that my fiancé looks at me on a daily basis. I see Jesus in him, and I feel Jesus in the way he loves me, unconditionally.

"There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus."

 Grace.

delilah moves [again].

Let me preface this post with this: Sam loves Delilah more than I do. I like her, sure. But he really likes her.

As I mentioned before, we bought a house that Sam is now living in. An estimated 95% of my time is spent either at work, at church, or at the new house. I literally only go to my apartment to sleep at night. Therfore, we felt it only fair that Delilah go ahead and make the transition to her new home so she's not so lonely. Also let me say, the move was Sam's idea.

It began with a traumatic night of me trying to stuff her in her cat carrier tha she rode 14 hrs in when we moved to Texas [I think she remembered it too well], and ended with us both sitting in the floor of the apartment for a good 30 minutes, her giving me the "go to you-know-where" stare from across the room and licking her paws in satisfaction, me nursing a deep scratch on my right middle finger which was the final straw that forced me to give up and let her ride in the car without the carrier.

I drove her over, set up the litter box, food, and water, and let her get settled. She walked around for a few hours meowing extensively, but finally got familiar with it and found her place snuggled in at the foot of Sam's bed. After that, she's been right at home! I wanted to tell you a couple of my favorite Sam and Delilah stories so far.

After the first night of her staying there with him, he called me at 8:00 the next morning. I said, in my sweetest you-definitely-woke-me-up-before-my-alarm-but-I-still-love-you fiancé voice, "Good morning, babe. How'd you sleep?" His response: "Fine. Delilah didn't sleep with me like you said she would. I don't know where she slept. And we are going to have to get rid of the bell on her collar. At 7 this morning she was jumping on the bed, jumping down, running in the living room, jumping on the couches. The bell was just ring ring ringing and it's going to drive me insane if we don't get rid of it." I died laughing.

A few mornings later I got off work at 7ish and called Sam on my drive to the house to see him for a few minutes before he was off to work for the day. "Good morning!" I exclaimed in my I've-been-up-for-14-hours-voice. "Morning." He replied in his best you-definitely-woke-me-up-before-my-alarm-but-I-still-love-you fiancé voice. "Something's wrong with Delilah. She was in here on the bed crying early this morning before I could even get out of bed and use the bathroom. And she was scratching on her scratchpad in the middle of the night! You're gonna have to have a talk with her." I arrived at the house 30 minutes later where Delilah met me at the door screaming. I picked her up and loved her for a minute, then proceeded to the kitchen where Sam was having his morning bowl of cereal. He gave me a cheerio kiss and I turned to see Delilah right on my heels. I glanced past her at her food and water bowls which were both bone dry. "No wonder she's crying Sam! She's starving and dying of thirst!" He felt horrible, and apologized to her repeatedly for not filling her bowls. I stood in the doorway and listened to him explain, "Kitty, I'm sorry I didn't feed you. I've never had a cat I had to take care of by myself before. I'll do better." I died laughing, again.

And finally, the chair incident. We spent two hours in Ikea looking for things to make the new house feel more like a home. We came away with a rug and coffee table, and Sam picked a new computer chair for the office. He sat in tons of chairs, rolled around, tested the head rests, and finally made a decision. We brought it all home and he spent the whole evening putting everything together. The chair looks great in the office, perfect height for someone who's torso is longer than my legs. The next evening I was in the kitchen cooking dinner, and he went into the office to look over sermon notes for the coming Sunday. Soon after, his voice boomed through the house, "OH MY GOSH. CHELSEY, YOUR CAT!!!!" [of course, now she's my  cat, when she's done something wrong]. I made my way to the office, expecting to find some poop in the floor or pee on a blanket or something. I rounded the corner to see Sam standing over the new chair, tenderly caressing the seat cushion. I approached to find multiple claw marks where Delilah had used the fresh new cushion to sharpen her nails. He stood over the chair in apparent disbelief, and I patted him on the back and said "Get ready dear. Cats, dogs, kids, me... this is the way it's gonna be. Welcome to your life."

He's a good sport, Sam. I think I'll marry him. <3

reflecting on 2013

A few days later than planned, but I'm reflecting on 2013:

January: I did a science experiment and made a volcano for these cuties.

February: I turned a quarter-of-a-century old. And I had a quarter-life crisis, which consisted of running a redlight, spending $100 on completely random stuff at Walmart, and eating a half gallon of icecream from the carton by myself. It was perfect.

March: I ran my first and only 5K, and I got the privilege of meeting Emily Elizabeth Moore just hours after she made her debut into the world.

April: I flew to Texas to celebrate the marriage of sweet friends, and reconnected after two years with the guy I'm gonna marry.

 

Also, I visited my family in Haiti. My heart was so incredibly full.

May: I got to go to my baby sister's 100 Club Banquet, and I met Sam in Knoxville to be his date at a wedding. [This was before we were dating, and I remember being so nervous not knowing what to expect or what to do].

June: I spent Father's Day and a couple other weekends on the river with my fam. I will desperately miss that this summer.

And I flew back to Texas to visit Sam and be the nurse at Junior High Camp. And just before I flew back to Tennessee, Sam asked me to be his girlfriend. <3

July: We made our annual Florida vacation [which I will also miss desperately this summer]. And my baby brother got married! And Sam came to Lawrenceburg for the first time and met my family.

August: I got to see Kessy stateside for a few days! And I went to a Titans game with part of the fam.

September: I flew back to Texas for a weekend and got a job and an apartment. Then Sam flew to Tennessee and drove me back to live just down the street from him. Crazy and bold, I know. But we both knew it was right.

October: Sam became the Junior High Minster, I started my new job as an oncology nurse, we carved pumpkins, supported friends who ran a 5K in the pouring rain, and took our junior high students to serve at a neighborhood in south Dallas. Busy month!

November: Sam turned a quarter-of-a-century old! And we drove to Houston to celebrate Thanksgiving with some of his family.

December: We flew home to Tennessee for a surprise 50th birthday party for my Mom, had a Christmas date night complete with selfies with Delilah, I dyed some of my hair pink, and, oh yea, WE GOT ENGAGED!

January 2013 I would have never ever predicted that this is where my life would be in January 2014. God has huge and crazy and awesome plans for your life too, you just have to let go and trust that He knows best. We all know that life is forever changing, good and bad. Take heart today, He has a plan. And He is the same yesterday, today, and forever. Look back and take a minute to reflect on 2013, and then let it go and look forward to whats next.

heres to 2014, friends!

will you marry me?

Finally... the engagement story.

I know, it's taken forever. Heres the thing... our life is cray. Between getting engaged, flying to Tennessee, driving to Kentucky, and flying back to Texas, buying a house and moving Sam in, beginning the painting process, working full time at the hospital, and both of us being at the church and with kids more than full time, it has taken me a while to get to this post. Thank you for your patience. :)

So, Sam and I have known each other since college. When we were in Knoxville we used to go down by the Tennessee River pretty much on the reg and sit on a little dock that stretched out over the water. We would go to Wendy's and get twisted M&M frosties and sit for hours talking about life. I can remember one of the last times we got to go down by the river before we both left town (him for Texas, me for Haiti), I sat as close to him as I could, hyperaware of where his hands were the whole 2 hours and desperately wishing he would just kiss me already (knowing full well he was too much of a gentleman to kiss me just to leave when we weren't even dating).

Anyway, on Christmas day we flew standby home from Texas. We were out late the night before at a family friend's house for Christmas Eve, and we literally had to drag each other to the airport at 5am Christmas morning in an attempt to get on the first flight to Atlanta. Neither of us had flown standby before, so we were both a little anxious about it, especially after receiving an email from my uncle (who graciously gave us buddy passes to get home) saying that the first flight would most likely be full. We waited at the gate, constantly checking the screen to see if our seats had been assigned. I had already begun the process of talking Sam into thinking it would be fun if we didn't get on the first one because then we could play cards for another two hours when he exclaimed "Get your bags! We are on the screen!" We were literally among the last 5 people to board the plane. So much for my morning of card-playing.

We flew from Dallas to Atlanta, got off the plane, made a quick bathroom stop, and essentially got right on the plane bound for Nashville. Once in Nashville, we picked up our rental car and headed south toward home. I remember in the car leaving the airport Sam was complaining that his head was hurting. I know he keeps Excedrin in his backpack so I reached in the backseat and began to grope around in the front pocket to find it for him. He asked me to stop and let him get it himself, which I didn't think much of at the time but after the fact he told me the ring was in that pocket. :)

Pulling in to Lawrenceburg Sam said, "Hey, remember when I was here for your brother's wedding in July and we went to the park? You wanna do that today before dinner?" I thought back and remembered it well, sitting on the docks at Crockett Park the afternoon before I drove Sam back to the airport for him to fly back to Texas and leave me in Tennessee without him for the last time. "Sure," I said, "as long as I can take a nap first."

We parked the car in the driveway and greeted my family, made our way upstairs and put away our bags, and collapsed onto beds for afternoon naps. He woke me up about an hour later and we decided we had just enough time to go to the park before we had to be at Christmas dinner that night. It was a beautiful day, 60 degrees and crazy sunny. We drove through the park, twisting and turning between forests of bare trees, commenting on how much the look of the trees had changed since July. I thought to myself about how much we have changed since July as well.

Finally we arrived at the docks and he held my hand as we walked down the middle and out on to the left side, all the way to the end. We sat looking at the water which was so still it looked like a piece of glass, beautifully reflecting the winter scene that surrounded us. It was quiet, and I remember thinking that my heart felt full. We took a few selfies with Sam's phone, and I turned to press my back against his as we took in the serenity of the view in silence. Then he said, "I have something I want to read to you."

He began to read from Proverb 31. He read:

"An excellent wife who can find?  She is far more precious than jewels.

The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain.

She does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life.

She seeks wool and flax, and works with willing hands.

She is like the ships of the merchant, she brings her food from afar.
She rises while it is yet night and provides food for her household and portions for her maidens.
She considers a field and buys it; with the fruit of her hands she plants a vineyard.
She dresses herself with strength and makes her arms strong.
She perceives that her merchandise is profitable. Her lamp does not go out at night.
She puts her hands to the distaff, and her hands hold the spindle.
She opens her hand to the poor and reaches out her hands to the needy.
She is not afraid of snow for her household, for all her household are clothed in scarlet.
She makes bed coverings for herself; her clothing is fine linen and purple.
Her husband is known in the gates when he sits among the elders of the land.

She makes linen garments and sells them; she delivers sashes to the merchant.
Strength and dignity are her clothing, and she laughs at the time to come.
She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.
She looks well to the ways of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness.
Her children rise up and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her:
“Many women have done excellently, but you surpass them all.”
Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
Give her of the fruit of her hands, and let her works praise her in the gates."

 

He finished and said, "I think this is something a lot of women are trying to be, but when I read it I think about you because it's what you already are." I smiled. And then I told him I wanted to read something to him as well. [No, I did not know all along that this is why we were going to the park, but once he read the scripture I had pretty much figured it out. And, confession, I had thought extensively about what it would be like when he finally asked me and what I would say, so I was well prepared].

 

I read Ruth 1:16-17:

"... For where you go I will go, and where you lodge I will lodge. Your people shall be my people and your God shall be my God. Where you die I will die, and there will I be buried. May the Lord do so to me and more also if anything but death parts me from you."

 

This is my commitment to him, now and always. When I finished, I could feel him shaking, our backs still touching. Then he said, "Now I need to ask you a question." I said, "Okay, what?" He said, "You have to stand up." To which I replied, "Shut. Up." We pulled each other up from the dock giggling and laughing, I was too excited and kept kissing him before he could form words. He bent to one knee and pulled the box from his pocket, opened it before me and when he looked up at me and I looked down at him, I could feel it in my soul, this longing to be one with him.

 "Chelsey, will you marry me?"

 

I pulled him up from his knee by the face, kissing him wildly and exclaiming my resounding "Yes!!" He put the ring on my finger and it fit perfectly. He turned me around and pointed to a porch and some trees where my two youngest sisters were hiding, capturing the whole thing in pictures. It was beautiful, and holy, and Jesus-filled, exactly as it should be.

I always thought it would be weird to wear a ring on my left fourth finger, but now my hand feels naked without it. I always thought it would be strange to share my whole entire life with someone else, but now I can't imagine doing life without him.

his hands

I met him in 2009, when we were still fresh out of the protection of our homes and just learning to sink or swim in the "real world."

I imagine that I shook his hand then, when I met him, I don't remember. We worked beside each other, and sat beside each other, and prayed beside each other, and did life beside each other for years. We knew each others heartbreak and joys and sadness and all the ins and outs that life served us. We knew each other, in the way that friends who share the same heart for Christ know each other. But I never noticed his hands, until I held them.

My initial observation when I held them for the first time this past summer is that they are strong, and grown. When I look at his hands, I can see that he is a man now, no longer a growing-up kid feeling his way through life like one feels their way through the dark. Life has grown him, and he is wiser, and stronger. I can see it in his hands.

His hands are gentle in a way that I cannot comprehend, in a way that makes me want to handle the people around me more carefully. They show love without overlooking sin, his hands know truth.

They have lines that run deep with hurt that he didn't deserve, from things in life that weren't fair and loss that is impossible to comprehend. And he thinks he doesn't know mercy, but I see where he has filled the spaces between the hurt with grace and love and forgiveness for those who caused the pain. Yes, he knows mercy.

His hands are calloused from working hard to do his best, at everything, always. Callouses from self discipline and self control that have pushed him on toward fulfilling his potential. And there has been and still is disappointment, when he feels like he doesn't measure up. But I see how he actually overfills every expectation I have ever had, in everything, always.

His hand rests on my leg when we ride in the car, even if we are just going down the street. And in a crowd, his hand is on my back, reassuring me that he is there and he isn't leaving me and he isn't afraid for everyone to know I am his. The first time he whispered to me that he loves me, his hands brushed my curls back out of my face so he could look me square in the eye. And when we bow our heads and close our eyes and approach the Throne in prayer, whether we are in a church full of 7000 people or a small circle of close friends or alone on the couch, his hand finds mine so we go together to the Creator, always.

We met in 2009, and we knew each other like brothers and sisters of the same Father know each other. We fell in love, at some point, I don't think either of us can say exactly when. Now we know each other like two people who share a soul. I see him, and I see his hands. And I can't believe that I will be holding these hands that I love so much for the rest of my life. "Thank you, Jesus" is inexpressibly insufficient.

[the engagement story to follow. stay tuned...]

pre-christmas craziness!

The craziness of the holidays has taken over life and my blogging keeps getting pushed further and further on the furthest back burner that I have. and I have a lot of burners in my life. The struggle, I tell ya. Anyway.. we've had a lot going on! And it's been awesome. Let me tell you about it.

Sam turned 25! This is his birthday selfie with Delilah, who he loves. And looks strangely similar to in this picture.

We saw Catching Fire in theaters with our friends. And then me and some of my girls went to District 12.

Sam and I went to Houston for the Thanksgiving holiday and were able to spend time with some of his family. It was my first time meeting his mom and grandmother, and any family of his for that matter. I feel like it went well? And I feel like I'd know by now if it didn't. So, check that off the list.

Yes, we stopped at 7 am on the side of the road in Houston to take this selfie with an American flag covered trailer. So what?

 

Sam and I [and several of our friends/Sam's coworkers] served at a mother-daughter Christmas event for our students. So much pink! and sparkles! and glitter!

The day after that we had our end-of-the-year Wednesday night Chaos in the Junior High ministry. Christmas theme! My fav!

 This is one of my fav JH girls :)

 

After all of this was over, we made a surprise trip to Tennessee for my Mama's 50th Birthday Surprise Party! My siblings and all of our significant others put it together, with the help of some extended family. It took a lot of scheming and a little trickery, but we were able to throw the party at our house on a Friday night, get over 20 people there, have all the vehicles hidden, and totally surprise Mom with a celebration just for her, complete with me and Sam flying in from Texas and my Sis and Hunter driving in from Johnson City.

On the plane bound for Tennessee :)

It was supposed to be a two day trip, but because of the icepocolypse that happened in Dallas that particular weekend, no airlines were able to land flights as scheduled. So, we ended up spending an extra three days in Lawrenceburg with the fam. The flight cancellations and rescheduling and car rental extension and all was stressful, but overall it was a perfect weekend full of laughing and game playing and memory making. Love him.

After finally making it back to Texas, we got all dressed up in our finest and went to the Gift of Christmas presentation at Prestonwood, which was mind-blowing, of course.

 

In other news, I got my chemo certification and can now administer chemo at the hospital, which I'm pretty excited about. And Sam finished his fall semester of school! It's definitely time for a break... Hebrew was almost the death of him :) Also, I taught Sam how to do a headstand a couple days ago, which was a hilarious and extremely fun 15 minutes in my living room with pillows under our heads upside down against the wall.

 

And finally, my favorite Sam quote as of late:

Me: [after Sam said something slightly inappro]: "That was over the line."

Sam: "YOU'RE over the line."

Me: "Yea, I am."

Sam: "Yea you are, that's where I found you. I saw you standing over the line and I thought to myself 'There she is, over the line. She's the one.'"

 

He's the cutest. And I know you get it, but he's my fav. Every minute we spend together is sweet, even the not-so-fun ones.

 

Through all of this madness and fun, we are thanking God daily for each other and for the life He has designed just for us, and we are preparing to celebrate the birth of Jesus. We spent several hours in the car on the way home from Houston listening to Christmas music and just being still and quiet, letting the wonder of the fact that God became man and came to earth in the form of a baby to save us sink in, again. It is worth stopping and being still for people, I promise.

 

Tis the season :) I'll keep you updated on what the holiday holds for us here in Texas and everywhere else! Love from Plano!





a seamless mess

It has been full, the past quarter of a century.

We were both born in 1988, and we have both turned 25 this year. We were both born and we have lived the same number of years, and our pasts have been so full of so many different things.

Different family structures and family drama and family dynamics.

Different private school and public school and summer school.

Different pets and different childhood friends.

Different churches and denominations and belief systems and faiths.

Different romantic relationships in which we both have given different parts of ourselves away.

Different sleeping habits and waking habits and breathing patterns and heartbeats.

Different subjects studied and degrees earned.

Different countries lived in and languages spoken.

Different hopes and dreams and wishes and different ways in which we view the world.

I stand amazed at how a quarter of a century of differences is being woven daily into a seamless mess of unity, of oneness. Two separate pasts that are being formed into one present and one future. It is a God thing, to take old things and make them new.

And He is doing just that.

 

And I am amazed, and I am so thankful.

 

a brief synopsis

It's been too long people! I'm falling behind, I know. I have to leave for work in 30 minutes, but between now and then I'm gonna give you a brief synopsis of happenings here in Texas over the last two weeks.

The week of Halloween we had a pumpkin carving party with our friends. So much fun. Pumpkins, caramel apples, playing cards, and tons of laughing.

Sam almost ran a 5K. But it started pouring down rain about 5 minutes before starting time, so he opted out. Good choice. No pneumonia for us, please.

We took our J-High students to the inner city in South Dallas to put on a fall festival for a community there. It was so fun to watch them learn how to serve in Christ's name, and to see the precious kids dressed up in Halloween costumes and such.

We went on a double date with Canaan & Ami, our life-friends here, to a sleepy little town with a cute square where we had dinner, then hit up a high school football game to hang out with our students for a while. Our fav date night :)

Ami and I have played countless games of spades against Canaan and Sam in the last couple weeks. The girls generally lose, but its probably a good thing because it turns our the boys get pretty feisty when we win occasionally.

We've spent several Fridays looking at houses.. Sam's in the market and will hopefully close on a house at the beginning of the year. Super super exciting!

I have learned/am learning how to quilt. So I've completed one small baby quilt with random fabric not really made for a boy or a girl, and one oblong Christmas quilt that Sam refuses to acknowledge as a blanket because he says its shaped like a table runner haha. It's a work in progress. The next one should be better. I'll let you know.

Sam wrote a big paper, and only has 3 weeks of classes left, praise the Lord. He needs a break from school.

I'm flying solo at work now with no preceptor, and I have friends, so all is right in the world again it seems.

We have been cooking dinner when we aren't on the go, which we love. And while Sam made homemade pizza a few nights ago I sat on a stool in the kitchen and we discussed Romans 9 and a chapter of "Erasing Hell" by Francis Chan. Hard stuff, for sure.

We have made a prayer chart of our families and close friends, and we have started the tradition of praying together daily. I am beyond thankful for a man like Sam who leads me in purity and in making the most of Christ in all areas of our life.

I came to the realization a few days ago that every night when I go to bed I think "Today was the best day ever." And then the next day is always even better than that. We know all of life won't be mountain tops and that we will inevitably go through the valleys, but I honestly believe that even the biggest struggles won't be as big facing them with Sam.

We spent hours sitting in my floor painting canvases together last week. And his is equally as good as mine. This is how I know we are made for each other.

Oh, and last weekend Sam took me to see "The Screwtape Letters" by C.S. Lewis performed at a theater in Dallas. It was so much fun. I haven't been to a play in years.

Life is crazy, and if someone had told me one year ago that this is where I'd be in November 2013, I would have never believed it in a million years. But His ways are higher than our way, and His thoughts are higher than our thoughts, and His plan is always always always better than anything we could possibly dream up on our own. So thankful every single day that He pursues me and He pursues Sam and He calls us to love each other and the world more perfectly on the daily. Can't wait to see what life holds. Keep up with us as we go :)

Love from Texas!

so, now we know.

I feel like now is a good time for a mostly-photo-blog that will hopefully give you a glimpse in to our everyday life.

I moved into my new apartment, and this is my first craft of the fall! It's homey, right? :)

Sam studying for Hebrew, cause he's hardcore like that.

I started my new job... this is my commute. Lame, but totally worth it. I'm loving it so far.

This is how Sam spends a big majority of his time.. with JH students. And he's great at it. [Wednesday night Chaos]

And I spend a pretty big chunk of my time with students as well. And I love it! [Girls Movie Night]

And this is just one of the many perks of dating this awesome guy... love notes written completely backwards :)

That about sums it up! It turns out day-to-day life is WAY more fun in person that via FaceTime. Who knew?  I have two favorite happenings from the past week that I feel like paint a pretty clear picture of how we are learning each other as we do this crazy thing called life together.

1. Last week I was hanging out with Sam at his host home while he was doing laundry. He brought a laundry basket full of clean clothes fresh out of the dryer upstairs and I volunteered to fold them for him. I know people can be particular, so I thought I would be proactive and ask before I started, "Is there a certain way you like things folded?" "No, whatever is fine," he says. So I proceed to fold all of the t-shirts, undershirts, shorts, socks, etc. and separate them into piles of their same kind. Once I finished, I said "Okay, what do you hang and what goes in drawers?" "Umm... everything can go in drawers except the button downs," he replied. I got up and carried a stack of nicely folded solid colored t-shirts to the dresser. "Perfect. Which drawer do these nicer t-shirts go in?" I asked. "Umm..." he pulls open the second drawer of the dresser to reveal an overflowing perfect mix of shorts, t-shirts, nice shirt, hoodies, and even bathing suits. "Well, this one looks full. Lets try the next one." he says. "Whoa whoa whoa," I say, "you mean to tell me you just throw stuff in all these drawers until they're full and then you move on to the next one? There is no designated space for any particular kind of clothes?" "Pretty much no," he says, with a smile. It was like he was speaking a foreign language. This concept flabbergasted me, which he found highly amusing. Needless to say, he graciously let me spend the next hour meticulously organizing the entire dresser by clothing type and color. So, now we know who will NOT be in charge of putting away laundry for the rest of our lives :)

2. I worked 8-5 Monday-Friday last week, and I was supposed to move in to my new apartment on Thursday. Because I wasn't going to be home in time to pick up my keys, Sam went by and got them for me. And then by the time I got off work on Friday, he and some of our sweet friends had moved every bit of my stuff out of the storage unit and into my new home. Best friends ever. Anyway, so we spent the weekend basically unpacking and trying to get my junk all in the right places. At one point, I was in the bathroom hanging the shower curtain and Sam was in the kitchen attempting to unpack boxes. He hollered from the hallway "Hey, I'm gonna unpack some of this food. On a scale of 1 to 10, how particular are you about where things go in your pantry?" I hollered back "Umm... maybe like a 7." "WHAT?! A SEVEN?!" He exclaimed. Now it was like I was the one speaking a foreign language. He couldn't fathom that I could possibly care that much where the cans of corn go in the cabinet. So, now we also know who won't be putting away the groceries. :)

Missing my fam and friends in Tennessee like crazy. Missing my old job and work friends. But absolutely loving life here in Texas.

Peace and love people :)