My husband is a hat-wearer. He has at least 15 hats stacked neatly thrown in the top of our closet, 4 of which he actually wears on a regular basis (story of my life). Texas Rangers, OKC, Kansas City Royals.. snap backs, flat bills, on and on. My favorite is when he wears them backwards.. I think he's such a cutie. Anyway, the point is, he wears a lot of hats.
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| cute, right? told ya. |
Husband.
Wife.
Mom.
Dad.
Nurse.
Teacher.
Minister.
Sister.
Daughter.
Son.
Brother.
Aunt.
Uncle
Mentor.
Friend.
And the list goes on, doesn't it?
Wearing hats isn't all we do, though. We are also professional managers of things.
House.
Dogs.
Baby.
Cat.
Rental house.
Hospital floor.
Church office.
Friendships.
Marriage.
Bank accounts.
Small groups.
And this list.. it goes on too, right?
With so many hats and so many things to manage, our marriage and our family are among the first things to get swept up in the chaos and jostled about. Over time (and especially since we added Quinn to the mix), we have begun implementing habits into our days and weeks that we feel help us keep it together and stay on the same page. Most of these ideas were passed to us by people much smarter than us and who are probably doing them much more effectively than us, but nonetheless I thought I'd share today in case any of you feel like you or your marriage or your family are being taken away with the current of a busy life.
1. We have individual daily quiet times.
This is first on the list because it is undoubtedly the most important. We have learned the hard way that when we aren't spending intentional, personal, alone time with Jesus, things just don't go like we intend. Our stress levels are lower and our fuses aren't so short and our words come out much more gently when we start our days off with Christ. And coffee.
2. We do our chores.
Per the advice of a very smart and practical lady, Sam and I both do chores every morning. I have 4 chores (make the bed, clean the litter box, clear the sink/counter of dishes, and empty the robot vacuum) and Sam has 2 (take out the trash, clear the bathroom counter of clutter). We do them within the first 15 minutes of waking up (or try to) and it has changed the way our house runs. Try it. Seriously.
3. We put the baby to bed.
Literally. This is so important for us. When Quinn was 7 weeks old we moved her to her own room. Soon after that she learned to put herself to sleep and started sleeping 7-8 hrs at a time (thank you Jesus). So at about 7:30 each evening we bathe her, feed her, and put her down. This gives us 1-2 hours of alone time where we can talk about our day or sit in silence or watch a TV show together or make out if we want (yea, I said it). It has been vital to our sanity, honestly.
4. On Sundays, we look at the calendar.
Because my husband is a little bit of a nerd (but still cute, especially in the backwards hat we talked about earlier), we have our iPhone calendars synced. Sunday evenings we do our best to sit down and look at the week together to make sure we both know whats going on. This way we both know which nights we have free (if any), which days we can do lunch together, and which nights would be best for hanging out with our friends.
5. We MAKE time.
Some days are full. Take Wednesdays for example.. Sam leaves the house at 6:45 in order to work out before work, works 9-5, gets ready for and runs Wednesday night programing for Junior High students, waits for parents and cleans up, and then gets home about 9pm, just in time to throw himself on the bed and fall asleep exhausted (I can't blame him... its a busy day!) Or some Thursdays, for example.. He gets breakfast with a student at 7:20, then works 9-5, then we grab a quick dinner and head to a football game which puts us getting home, again, about 9pm. On days like these that we know (because we've looked at the calendar) are going to be crazy, we plan ahead and set aside 15-30 minutes for just us. Like on Wednesdays, I cook dinner and take it to his office about 5:30 so we can close the door and eat together. On other busy days sometimes we both get up 20 minutes early so we can have coffee together in our kitchen before the rest of the world wakes up and the busyness starts. No matter how full the day gets, we find a few minutes where it's just us, and it makes all the difference.
6. When we can't DO something, we SAY something.
Sometimes, even if we plan ahead, date nights and family walks and pillow talk just don't happen. When plans get cancelled and other things come up, it can be very frustrating and discouraging, especially for me. Thankfully, my sweet husband is so intentional in these situations when he can't physically be somewhere to make sure I still know he wishes he could, and sometimes thats all I need. He is the best about sending me a cute text or leaving me a thoughtful note or surprise FaceTime calling me. We all know actions speak louder than words, but for times when action is just not possible, the right words do just fine.
And thats about all I've got for today. The baby's hungry and the dogs are barking at the neighbors and the cat just knocked over some fake flowers that I've disguised as fall decor. So, these are the ways that we not only survive but truly get the most out of this beautiful thing we call life together. Hopefully something in this post will help you do the same!
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