delight and desires

Last week while we were in Santiago, I had the opportunity to care for sweet Zaikel [who is 3 years old] for several days and nights before his grandmother could get to the city. Part of our day included eating meals, as most people's days do. One night we were in a very Westernized restaurant called "Kukarra Makarra" that reminded me a lot of Texas Roadhouse in the States. It was relatively late and Zaikel hadn't had a nap the whole day, so he was tired. When the high chair came out for him, he pitched a fit because he didn't want to sit in it. Well, last time I checked, 3 year olds don't get to make their own decisions just yet [at least not if I'm in charge] and therefore he was made to sit in the high chair. 

He pouted and grumbled and fussed, and finally fell silent. I knew he was sleepy and that was why he was acting out, but still he had to learn he couldn't get his way just by pitching a fit. He had quickly come to agreement with the fact that he was going to sit there because I told him he was, and that was that. But I knew he was tired and needed to sleep, so after he was still and quiet, I picked him up and let him fall asleep in my lap. He was asleep within 5 minutes. So, he ended up getting what he wanted, but not because he wanted it... only because I allowed him to have it. Does that makes sense? Well, if it doesn't then read it again and maybe you'll get it. If not, well then.. just keep reading anyway.

Whats the point, you ask? The point is, after this story played out I realized that God was using it to teach me something far greater than how to discipline a 3 year old who is pitching an embarrassing fit in a restaurant. I was hit right in the face with the fact that this is exactly what God does in my life. I think I know best... I think that what I want is what I should have. I think that the desires of my heart should be fulfilled. Psalm 37:4 says "Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart."   So according to this scripture things should happen the way I want then, right? I thought this for a long time.. until God taught me what this scripture actually meant. 

Read the verse again, and focus on the first part instead of the second. "Delight yourself in the Lord." What does that mean? I have come to understand that it means emptying me of every single thing that I want. It means surrendering every aspect of every part of my life to God and letting Him do whatever He wants with it. Make no mistake, it isn't easy. Not one part of surrendering things that you love is easy. But what it comes down to is do you love Jesus more than your life and various aspects of it? Once you can say yes to that question, you can surrender. And the beautiful thing I have learned in the last few months is this: Once you surrender all your desires and make God's desires yours, He gives them back to you in a sweeter way then you could ever imagine. 

I know this to be true. I have seen it. And some time I hope to share with you the nitty gritty details because it's really a sweet story. But, for tonight this is all.