tragedy: told

If you are a faithful reader, you may remember the title of my post a few weeks ago read "tragedy: untold". Tonight's title may appear similar, but it is so much different. It's funny how God works.

I am still home for Christmas break, and enjoying time off from school. However, what I had planned to be an uneventful and relaxing few weeks ended up being nothing of the sort. Among other unplanned events that have taken place, the most traumatic lies in the death of a close friend. On Dec. 20th in the middle of my brother's 20th birthday party, I got a phone call announcing the death of Megan Nichole Inman.. the closest friend I have ever had. We were not as close now as we used to be, but I have never had a closer friend than her, and probably never will, save my husband of course. We were literally like sisters from about 7th grade to 11th grade, but since then weren't as close as we once were. Still, I never thought I'd see her name in the obituaries, or go to her funeral, but I did.

She passed away in a single vehicle accident on I-40 East on December 20th at about 5 pm. She was apparently texting, and lost control of the vehicle, flipping it a few times. She was not wearing her seatbelt and was thrown from the car. I never heard what her injuries were, only that she died at the scene. Her visitation was December 22nd, and she looked beautiful. Her whole family was there of course, and it was good to see them all again. As I made the way to the front of the line (which was forever long), I saw that her sister had found a poster I drew for Megan in 2004. It read "Do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will take care of itself. Each day has enough worries of its own. - Matt 6:34" Her family told me that through all the years, she kept it up in her room. I could barely remember making it.

I am happy for Megan, because I know without a shadow of a doubt that she is dancing with the angels today. But I am sad, for me and for her family. It didn't hit me until my last pass through the line at the visitation (I went through the line 5 times). My last time I looked at her and realized I will never see her again in this life. That is so final. Too final. It doesn't seem real, but I know it is. And it doesn't seem fair, but I know that God's timing is never off and He has a reason and a plan that I can't see. I tried to explain it to one of my hurting friends in this way: Its like God's plan is a huge scene, and we are on the other side of a wooden fence looking through a tiny peep hole and can only see one clip of the whole picture. All of these things I know, and I find comfort, but still I am sad and I miss her.

It is such a tangible reminder of James 4:14 which reads "Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes." We truly never know what will happen, and we must live our every single second for the Lord! As confused as I am, and as little as I understand about why God has taken Megan now of all times, I KNOW that He is in control, and He is just who He says He is.

Megan's funeral was on December 23rd, and it was a beautiful, simple service. She would have liked it. The preacher used the story of John the Baptist when he is in jail toward the end of his life. As faithful and trusting in God as John was, when his life took a turn for the worse he too wondered if Jesus was actually legit. The story is as follows:
"When the men came to Jesus, they said, “John the Baptist sent us to you to ask, ‘Are you the one who is to come, or should we expect someone else?' At that very time He cured many people of diseases and afflictions and evil spirits; and He gave sight to many who were blind. And he answered and said to them, 'Go and tell John the things which you have seen and heard; the blind receive their sight, the lame walk, the lepers are cleansed, and the deaf hear, the dead are raised up, the poor have the gospel preached to them. Blessed is he who does not take offense at Me.'" Luke 7:20-23 
 How comforting, to know that no matter how bad things get or may seem, Jesus is exactly who He said He is. We are still held by the exact same God who has held us from the beginning. We must find comfort and peace in knowing and trusting that that is true. And we must not only be okay with God's plan, but PRAISE Him for His plan, and the power that He has to carry it out. He is an awesome God, and we cannot forget that, no matter how bad we are hurting.